reflections…

On my way to buy a sandwich for lunch, from the same village store that I went in for the first time almost 10 years ago (possibly to buy a sandwich then too! Oh, and the price has only doubled in these 10 years!), I happen to pass two people on campus, who I also met/knew for the first time almost 10 years ago. 10-years – a third of my life, and it dawned on me that I have spent that time outside Nepal, outside the country I was born in. Well, when I saw that huge beer-bellied college porter who liked to chat in his distinct Welsh accent, and that thin-like-a-twig cleaner, who was so kind to me that she did my dirty dishes and made my bed, although those didn’t come under her duties as a college cleaner, I felt I’ve stayed around here too long. Far too long indeed. Something pinged me then, at that moment, I wanted to run to get my sandwich, and run back to my office, and get back to my work straight away. I wanted to finish my paper I’ve been slow to revise, I wanted to finish my thesis, I wanted to finish my phd, and I wanted to leave this place. Those people inspired me like no one had for months and months.

I came home early, office was too distracting. Did some work, did some thinking, had dinner. On way out to visit a dai, I struck a conversation with one of my housemates, a fine fellow from Zimbabwe, who started his phd the same year as me and who has already finished his phd for almost a year, and who has now been offered a full-time teaching position at a university down south. He talked about his wishes to return home. So much things to do back home he says – set up a farm, some 20,000 herd of cattle, a dairy production facility, an abattoir, and some teaching, some research, back in my own country. Seeing his enthusiasm and listening to his dreams inspired me like nothing had for months and months.

Now, I must get back to my paper. Finish the revisions, start on the next one, OR at least I could finish some of the readings that I need to include in the revised version of my paper. Some more readings indeed, never ending readings it seems…but, I’m inspired…for anything to get me out of here soon! I’m inspired tonight!